Kid Tech

So, my middle child, E, turned two last March.  She talks incessantly.  And I LOVE it.  I mean… really LOVE it.  This is my favorite age so far, between 18 mo and 3yrs.  I absolutely enjoy watching their language and concept development.  I love watching the wheels turn in their head, waiting with anticipation of what amazing thought might pop out of their little mouths.  My two oldest kids both talked earlier than pediatricians’ averages.  C had more than fifty words at 18 mo, but E, oh E… she was there at 15 mo.  I can only guess at the reasons they are so talkative so early… I’m sure the research is out there, which is probably why experts say things like: read to your child from birth.  And we do that… we read LOTS of books, at least three every night before bed and even one before nap time.  We also never used any baby talk, and just explain things as they are with regular meaningful words.  Whether they understand every word is not important, they are hearing and absorbing.  My little sponges.  I also don’t lie to avoid a lengthy explanation.  That just seems so unfair… kids get it.  They can understand lots of things if I take the time to explain it with the correct words and then us some analogy from their world so they can understand it in their terms.  It’s actually really fun for me to try to figure out a way to answer some of their questions like… “Is God ever disobedient?” or “Why was M in your belly and how’d she get out?”   Those were doosies.  We used sign language starting at 12mo, which helped tremendously to avoid lots of tantrums over frustrating misunderstanding.  C knew about twenty signs by the time he was ready to full out talk, but E only learned about eight before she was using words.  “Forget this signing thing, I’m just going to say ‘thank you!’” is what I assume went though her head.  So I don’t say all of this to brag about my kids… I am leading to a point here.  What I’ve been thinking about is our kids’ development in the land of ever changing technology…

May 15, 2012: Where is my iPhone?  I know I left it on the living room couch.  I was using it as a remote for our Apple TV.  Hmmm… Where is E?  and why is it so quiet around here?  I find her in the playroom with her back to me, as she’s leaning on her elbows on the couch.  I hear her voice, only it’s not coming from her mouth… it’s coming from a video she’s playing back on my iPhone.  She notices me, and giggles, runs to the corner of the room and hides her new-found toy behind her back.  It was all I could do not to laugh and try to reprimand her for taking my phone.  This girl is smart.  She’s smart because she’s observant and acts on what she’s observed.  I’m pretty sure all kids do this.  She watches me swipe the screen, take photos, look at photos, find music, whatever, and then she tries it… usually without my permission.  But sometimes I give her the green light… and watch her work.  I am utterly amazed by how much she can do on that phone.  She and C are obsessed with the William Tell Overture, and just a few days ago she figured out how to find it, play it and turn up the volume.  Her sentiments about it all were: It’s LOUD!

But I was so proud.  Proud because our world is changing, and she the one who is going to be in the midst of it all.  Our kids will need to learn how to interface with technology.  Not that they need to spend all their time doing so… I still want them to be kids who run, climb, jump and play outside, read books made of paper, color, paint, and build puzzles.  However, they are going to need these tech skills  as much as they need language skills... and they have already acquired some of these skills much earlier than I would have anticipated.  For goodness sake, my baby hears grandma's voice on my iPhone and expects to SEE her too!  I guess it might be truly time for an iPad.  Daddy?!  Are you ready for this?  Christmas might come a bit early this year.

Mommy Zen

(Written April 28 - forgot to post!)

So Kris has been out of town for the last two days.  I think this is the first time since his return from deployment in February that I’ve been home alone with the kids.  I can’t believe how in just six short weeks I can lose all of my single-parenting skills.  I mean all of them.  I did not prepare myself or my day well to do this alone again.  I should check the lunar calendar, maybe it’s a full moon.  That’s the only other reasonable explanation I can think of for the blatant disregard of my authority that my children have been displaying these last 48 hours.

M wouldn’t nurse or eat solids at lunch.  She’s been refusing solids for the past three days… nursing fine, but swatting at the spoon and shaking her head.  She’s seven months old and has an opinion already.  I don’t know if C’s deaf or is just that selective with his hearing… everything I ask of him is either ignored or rebutted in some fashion.  Don’t argue with me!  You are four!  You just turned four!  Look at me, son!  Ahhh!  (I didn’t say any of that to him, except the “look at me” part.) Then there is my two-year-old, E, who is precious and sweet one moment, but turns on a dime into either a mischievous imp or a nails-on-a-chalkboard whiner.  Throughout the day, I find that my jaw is clenched so hard, that I need to crowbar to release it. 

                                                                                    

And then…

It’s bath time.  C and E went up the stairs ahead of me.  I turned the corner behind them to take M to her room for a new diaper and jammies.  While I changed her I reminded myself that this parenting thing is supposed to be fun, that I want to enjoy my babies, and that I need to unlock my jaw… again.  So, before I fed M and put her down, I went to see what the two crazies were up to.  I also wanted to let them know I would be in M’s room and to play quietly until bath time.  What I came upon was exactly what I needed to see to calm me, release my furrowed brow and bring back my smile… two naked kids in an empty bath tub, playing nicely with their bath toys, waiting for water.  And it even gets better.  I asked if they needed to go potty, and C said, “We already did!”  We already did?  Wha?? Sure enough, pee in both the big and little potties.  My potty-training E had zero accidents today, and went by herself before their bath. 

Every mom needs moments of zen like this.  After a rough day, that was mostly due to my missing single-parenting skills, this scene was a gift.  Hmmm… what other gifts did I receive today?  I know there have to be more that I’ve overlooked due to the condition of my jaw…  E gave M kisses all day long (and only tried to pick her up once.) C literally rolled right over M’s head and made her cry, but later he laid on the floor with her and she laughed and giggled with delight at his attention.  The older two devoured their dinner and both ate a big spoonful of peas.  That was huge.  Still working on the “eat your veggies” mantra.  And finally, after the bath tub delight, I brought little M back to her room to nurse and she went right to sleep.  

So, I guess, it really wasn’t a bad a day afterall. 

Touché, little ones.  Touché.

A Little Man-Time

So, my son. is. awesome.  Let me start by giving some background.  This week the squadron that K works with had a Change of Command.  This event happens every fifteen months: the Executive Officer (XO) takes over the role of Commanding Officer (CO) of the squadron.  It’s a really BIG deal to everyone involved.  The two officers changing command were both mentors of K’s and his fellow junior officers in the squadron he was a part of in Japan.  That being said, a few of those then junior officers, who are now more senior or no longer Navy, arrived in California this week to attend and celebrate this change of command.  A couple of these fellas hung out at our house between events.  They were on our front porch sitting in rocking chairs drinking beers, catching up and enjoying some man-time. 

Okay, so now here’s a little bit about my awesome son.  While these guys are shooting the “sheet”, as K likes to say, C was in quiet time.  Quiet time is ninety minutes of alone time in his room, in lieu of a nap.  Mommy still needs her own quiet time, so he goes to his room to read or play while his sisters actually sleep.  The only reason he is allowed to come out of his room is if he has to go #2… which he often does.  He must hold it or just time it perfectly, because during most quiet times, C comes out to go.  On this particular day while man-time was in progress, C did what he normally does and called down the stairs to let me know he had some business to take care of.  He had already gone once that day, but I conceded, and told him to come down.  Before he went into the bathroom, he asked if he could go outside and say hi to Daddy.  Hmmm… I smiled to myself and again, conceded.  I just had this feeling that he was dying to join the dudes outside and was faking his need to use the bathroom.  Mommy knows her little boy.  I was so right.

All of this discussion with C happened at a distance; I was in the kitchen, C on the stairs.  I listened carefully as he went outside. Daddy and his two friends greeted him warmly, and one friend invited him to sit next to him.  C decided he needed a chair too, and went to the playroom to retrieve his fuzzy Elmo chair.  All the other guys were sitting in chairs, why not C?  After I finished cleaning up the kitchen, I just had to go see what he was up to.  Elmo was seated next to a rocking chair, but C had decided to play God with some rolly-pollies (pill bugs) and was squashing them on the front walk.  I went to him to confront his lie about needing to “go”, but let him know that I understood that he wanted to be a part of man-time, which indeed, was a special time, since Daddy had been gone for so long.  I encouraged him to go back up to the porch... he did.

The next thing he decided he needed was a drink.  The men have beer.  He needs apple juice.  I willingly obliged. I handed him his cup and leaned on the front door frame to admire my sweet son.  C sat down on Elmo and sipped his beverage like Daddy and the “other Daddies” as C’s sister called them earlier in the day.  He crossed his legs.  I glanced around… yep, every one of them have theirs crossed too… just rockin’ and drinkin’.  He smiled at me when he realized that I noticed his imitation. After returning his smile with one of my own, I retreated indoors so he could man it up.  After a few minutes, C set his drink down and went back to the playroom in search of something.  I heard him call to me, “Mom, where’s the phone that goes with the kitchen?” We did a quick sweep of some toy bins and found it.  C returned to his chair, and set the phone down next to his drink on the ground.  Unbelievable.  I laughed out loud.  iPhones and Blackberries lay on the ground next to each of the other chairs.  C was really taking this very seriously!  I was astonished and elated at his emulation of his Daddy and Daddy’s friends.  C did an absolutely excellent job examining the details of manhood and made sure he had all that was required.  Awsome.  

I am not looking forward to the next deployment, whenever that is. C needs his Daddy.  So do the girls.  But watching C, my little man, so blatantly and excitedly want to be like the men on the porch, reminded me of just how important Daddies are in the lives of their kids.  Daddies set the tone for the life of their children.  Moms are the servants… feed, clothe, bathe, etc.  But Dads speak to the spirit of their children in a way that only Dads can.  Daddies can give their kids wings to fly high with confidence and self-worth.  Unfortunately, the reverse is also true.  That is why I pray that the Lord will make Himself known to my children early in their lives… that they will be able to understand why Daddy is gone for so long and that they will look to Him as their Father, whether their earthly father is home or on a ship serving his country.  That is why I pray that during the days and months when K is home, that their time with Daddy is everything they need it to be to account for the time when he’s not.  It’s hard.  I worry a lot about my children… whether we are doing all that we should for them in this season.  I know, I know… worry is a giant waste of time and energy, so instead of worrying, I will just keep praying for God’s grace to cover them.  So glad I can rest in that truth.  C, E & M are such special and amazing little people… who really LOVE their Daddy.