Naval Wifery: Part One

So, my hubs never ceases to amaze me.  He has taken over kitchen duty more times than I can count since he's been home.  (He was deployed for seven months, but I'll get to that later.)  I've always felt guilty about not being great at meal planning and meal execution, but I learned recently, like a week ago, that for K, preparing a meal after work is a time for decompression and creativity.  And he loves taking on this role... and he's damn good at it.  Sweet.  That means, I can feed the kids, nurse the baby and sit down for five to ten minutes and write a bit while he gets his culinary creativity on.  Phew.

 K is an amazing husband, and I want to create a page on this blog just for him to post his brain children (aka: ideas to set the modern world right), thoughts on fatherhood, Navy life and maybe a few recipes.  He's a fantastic writer... a quality I noticed and admired before we started dating.  I wish I had the first email that he ever wrote to me.  The subject: Allow myself to introduce... myself...!  I was a sophomore in college, and his sister (my bff) had given him my email address because she claimed we would be a perfect match simply because of our mutual love of Mike Meyers movies.  After that first email, it took us five years to get on the same page, and actually start dating.  He was already in Naval flight school when we started getting to know each other, so I knew what I was getting myself into... or so I imagined that I did.  Dating a man in uniform was pretty cool.  Still is... eight years later.  Navy life for us has been pretty exciting and fun; however, 2011 was probably the most challenging year of Naval Wifery to date.  (btw, I’m coining that term.)  So how's about a little bit more of the history lesson... care to continue with me on this stroll down my memory lane?

Just after we married in May of 2004, we moved to Japan for K's first sea duty.  I was a new wife, a new Navy wife, and new to Japan.  Looking back, I think I was in shock for at least six months, and K was gone for about three of those!  But once we settled in, I started teaching English and K adjusted to the deployment cycle, we had the time of our lives!  We fondly call it our three-year honeymoon: Japan, Australia, Fiji Islands (our actual honeymoon!), Thailand, Singapore, Hong Kong, and New Zealand.  And, not to mention, we lived 45 min outside of Tokyo.  Unreal.  Deployments weren't too bad since the cycle was shorter, meaning the deployments were shorter, but he actually racked up more days on the ship during those three years than his counter parts in the State-side squadrons.  Plus, he wasn't in the Middle East: his strike group kept a keen eye on the Dear Leader and other hounds in the Pacific Rim.  I worked a lot of hours teaching to make traveling to ports affordable, so I saw him a few times during his absence from home as well.

In 2007, we headed to Norfolk, Virginia, for shore duty and to begin Operation Procreation.  C was born just nine months after we arrived in VA, and E was born two years and a day later.  Operation Procreation was a huge success!  During our three-year stay in Norfolk, we met some fabulous friends who will remain a part of our lives for a long time.  Just eight short weeks after E was born, we moved again to southern California, which is where we are now. 

We knew this tour was going to be more difficult than the first two because it is/was our first sea duty with kids.  We spent the summer of 2010 hiking and traveling the coast, but by Christmas, I was already starting to stress about K’s upcoming seven-month deployment.  In Naval aviation, there is a season for preparation and training for deployment called “work-ups.”  Work-ups require Daddy to be gone off and on for weeks at a time for about six months prior to deployment, which, as I found out, is: hell.  Especially with a three-year-old boy.  The air wing in Japan didn’t do work-ups, so this whole evolution was new to me. Operation Procreation was set to commence toward the end of work-ups before deployment so that if successful, K would be home for the birth of Dash 3 after cruise.  Work-ups started January 18, 2011.  I took a pregnancy test January 17.  Dash 3 was on the way six months ahead of our schedule.  K would miss practically the whole pregnancy during work-ups, and the birth and first five months of this child’s life during deployment.  Can any one say, basket case?  I was a mess.  I know many mothers have delivered babies without their husbands before me, and many will do so after me, but I never expected to be numbered among their ranks!  “I don’t want to do this without him!” was the phrase on repeat in my mind.  Every time I’d think about him missing the birth, I would burst into tears.

Again, looking back, I was in shock. Really? Our first deployment with kids, and we’re adding another one during it?  Really, Lord?  But after a month or so, I finally came to terms with God’s timing.  I’ve known for a long time that His timing is always perfect.  His ways are higher than mine.  I started counting my blessings.  I am able to have children.  K was there for the first two births.  I am not alone, with so many family members and friends willing to help.  I have a church that will support me.  We were able to move to a bigger house (with a grass yard!) to accommodate our new addition!  I started repeating truth like, “I’ve given birth before, I can do it again,” or “The Lord chose THIS child at THIS time, because THIS child was the one He wanted in our family,” or “I am going to grow and mature in my faith because of this unique and difficult situation,” or “The Lord is with me always.”  Last year, I was in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) where we studied the book of Isaiah.  One week, this verse grabbed me and became my mantra for this whole deployment and birth experience:  I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; 
I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. 
These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.  Isaiah 42:16

What a promise.  One I could definitely relate to and cling to.  I needed this.  And thus my year commenced as a pregnant mama with a preschooler, a toddler and husband beginning work-ups with an imminent deployment.

So there’s part one of my little history lesson… I wish I had started this blog last year so that I could have documented this time in our lives day by day… you know, in all the spare time I had.  In any case, I want to document it and share it now. It’s never too late to share some encouragement.  So glad K spent some time in the kitchen, so that I could write a bit.  Thanks for reading... stay tuned for more.

Cutting the Cord

So, we decided to cut cable.  We haven't pulled the plug yet because we're both disinterested in dealing with the FIOS customer service call, but it IS happening soon.  $80 a month can be spent so much better elsewhere... monthly mani/pedi or our third child's 529?  Either way, we decided on our family after-dinner walk tonight, that not just our money, but our time can be better spent... instead of watching the Office without Michael Scott (it's just not the same, he says) our minds and spirits would be better served reading good books, spending better quality time together and maybe advancing my knowledge and understanding of the blogosphere.  I think I'm using that term correctly.  I did in fact, google "blog lingo" in order to hone the use of acronyms people half my age are slinging around.  I'm still researching, but I did find an interesting factoid: the term "weblog" was coined in 1997 and "blog" in 1999.  So I was in college then... hmmm... where I obtained my first email address @muohio.edu, where not every one had a desktop computer let alone a laptop, where computer labs existed to torture students who didn't hit the save button, where I took notes in class with a pen and saved sound bytes and research papers on a floppy disk.  I talked with a college friend about this today and had to laugh: I sound like my parents!  "When I was your age, we had one phone line for the whole block...yadda yadda yadda..." but it's only been 15 years, not 50!

Man, it's crazy how fast technology and social media is moving, and I often feel left in the dust!  That's why I am so thankful to have a techie husband, whom I like to call "Nick Burns ( the company's computer guy!)"  If you don't know Nick Burns, check out SNL's the best of Jimmy Fallon.  Hilarious.  I would be lost without K and his IT background.  He keeps me up to speed on all the newest happenings in Cupertino, CA.  Yes, we're Apple fans.  Got our first PowerBook, iPod (2nd gen) and some accessories with all of our wedding money in 2004 before we headed off to Japan for three years.  We moved on to and iMac, then an bigger iMac, iPod Mini, iPod Shuffle, iPod Nano, iPod Touch, MacBook Pro, Apple TV and finally an iPhone.  Just waiting on the right time to enlist the iPad's services.  Perhaps for our 8th anniversary, we'll invest ten months worth of cable into this new addition to our Apple family... I mean, come on, it's a perfect tool to help with our goals of reading more (Kindle app), better quality time together (Hello Vino and Bejewled) and I can take this lovely blog and all others that I'm following, any where I choose.  Done and done.

So, here I sit snuggled beneath my sweatshirt blanket with a bowl of popcorn and a glass of wine... determined to continue this new adventure in blogging.  Please be patient as I learn the lingo (feel free to send me an acronym dictionary link), navigate the toolbars (tips and hints are welcome), and figure out how to find my dashboard!  This SAHM is tired. 7am comes way too fast.  More about my life as a SAHM with three little ones soon.  G'night.

Quick Run

So, my kiddos woke up early today... 6:40am. By the time we got them dressed and fed, I had about 25 minutes of actual free time this morning before my 4yo needed chauffeuring to preschool. It was actually rather surreal. So, I asked my husband (K), jokingly, "Oh, my, what should I do with my free time?" His answer: "Why don't you write a post for your new blog? [insert something about about starting other things and not finishing them...] You have readers out there that are dying to read the next installment, and you're leaving them hanging!" (Yes, my many many followers are just salivating for my second post.) He also suggested some other options, but seriously, it was 8:20am. So, I opted to go for a quick run. Now, Running and I have never really been the best of friends. I love to play sports... well, I should say, I used to love playing sports. I played volleyball in high school and college, and I even coached a season of middle school ball at my alma mater. But, running... it's not something I love to do. Yet. I really do want to love to run. In my 30+ years of life, I still haven't managed to form a proper relationship with it. I think that's because my lack of love for running is really more about my self-discipline than any thing else. Self-discipline is a virtue, of which I am in desperate need, and thankfully, yet surprisingly, I've seen other opportunities for growth in this area recently, as well. I guess the Lord is finally getting serious with me on this topic. I know that I work best with a schedule, but with three babies in the house, I'm constantly at the mercy of their various needs, wants, boo-boos and levels of maturity... oh, and add potty-training my 2yo to that mix, and you've got quite a random and crazy day...
Well, we're starting to make a change here, people. K and I have become more serious about cooking healthier meals and setting an example for our kids. K was on a 21-day cleanse and lost 15 lbs after deployment. (He wanted to rid himself of the demons contained in nasty ship food.) So, the self-discipline enters in the form of a meal calendar. It's a dry-erase board with the days of the week listed vertically and space to write in lunch and dinner plans for each day. It's from Target. But it's up there on the fridge staring at me all day, telling me what to thaw the night before, what ingredients are on the shopping list, and where I found the recipe. We've been eating so much better, except for the huge burgers we grilled last night! This probably seems elementary for seasoned moms out there, but when you have a 4yo and 2yo that won't eat anything but chicken nuggets, grilled cheese and PB&J, a nursing baby and a deployed husband, cooking a healthy meal for just yourself is the biggest chore known to man. I did do it, but not often enough during the deployment. I was out of practice and needed some focus. And, sure enough, with the help of Target and Pintrest, we're on our way to a more veggie-filled culinary experience. So, there you have it: my second post. I am encouraging you to leave comments here or on FB about how you organize your days/weeks... what system do you use? when do you clean? when do you cook? when the heck do you exercise? and how do you get your crazies to eat their veggies? Let me glean small nuggets of wisdom... Lord knows, I'm far from arriving, but I want to love to run to get there.

The Birth of a Blog

So, I've been wanting to start blogging for years. Just hasn't happened until now. Having three kids in three and a half years, I've been a bit busy. You could say, I've got my hands full... in fact, many well meaning folks have made sure that I know that. "Boy! You've got your hands full!" At the park, the doctor's office, Costco, people see me and my posse and wonder how I do it. I usually say, "well, *pause* I don't do anything else." But I wouldn't change anything about my kids (or their birth proximity) because, well as you can see by the title of this new blog, my heart is full too. I know of many other moms with more than three or even three closer together, that I wonder about the same thing... how do you do it? I've also been asked by friends and perfect strangers, if we're done having kids... Well, I just don't know. We're not there yet. One way or another, we'll figure it out... I'm waiting on that "feeling" I've been told I'd feel to know when I'm done. Either way, this is the start of my ramblings, lessons learned, lessons I want and need to learn, questions, doubts, successes, failures, thoughts, plans, dreams, and general parenthood stuff in a blog. Sure there are lots of these kinds of blogs out there, but I kind of hope this one is different... honest and funny, but kinda serious at times too. One day I hope to have a second blog (yes, I know, this is just my first post in my first blog!) about my journey as a childbirth educator and doula... but I'm not there yet... need my certifications first. So, there you have it... my first entry. Now it's time for bed.