Naval Wifery: Part One

So, my hubs never ceases to amaze me.  He has taken over kitchen duty more times than I can count since he's been home.  (He was deployed for seven months, but I'll get to that later.)  I've always felt guilty about not being great at meal planning and meal execution, but I learned recently, like a week ago, that for K, preparing a meal after work is a time for decompression and creativity.  And he loves taking on this role... and he's damn good at it.  Sweet.  That means, I can feed the kids, nurse the baby and sit down for five to ten minutes and write a bit while he gets his culinary creativity on.  Phew.

 K is an amazing husband, and I want to create a page on this blog just for him to post his brain children (aka: ideas to set the modern world right), thoughts on fatherhood, Navy life and maybe a few recipes.  He's a fantastic writer... a quality I noticed and admired before we started dating.  I wish I had the first email that he ever wrote to me.  The subject: Allow myself to introduce... myself...!  I was a sophomore in college, and his sister (my bff) had given him my email address because she claimed we would be a perfect match simply because of our mutual love of Mike Meyers movies.  After that first email, it took us five years to get on the same page, and actually start dating.  He was already in Naval flight school when we started getting to know each other, so I knew what I was getting myself into... or so I imagined that I did.  Dating a man in uniform was pretty cool.  Still is... eight years later.  Navy life for us has been pretty exciting and fun; however, 2011 was probably the most challenging year of Naval Wifery to date.  (btw, I’m coining that term.)  So how's about a little bit more of the history lesson... care to continue with me on this stroll down my memory lane?

Just after we married in May of 2004, we moved to Japan for K's first sea duty.  I was a new wife, a new Navy wife, and new to Japan.  Looking back, I think I was in shock for at least six months, and K was gone for about three of those!  But once we settled in, I started teaching English and K adjusted to the deployment cycle, we had the time of our lives!  We fondly call it our three-year honeymoon: Japan, Australia, Fiji Islands (our actual honeymoon!), Thailand, Singapore, Hong Kong, and New Zealand.  And, not to mention, we lived 45 min outside of Tokyo.  Unreal.  Deployments weren't too bad since the cycle was shorter, meaning the deployments were shorter, but he actually racked up more days on the ship during those three years than his counter parts in the State-side squadrons.  Plus, he wasn't in the Middle East: his strike group kept a keen eye on the Dear Leader and other hounds in the Pacific Rim.  I worked a lot of hours teaching to make traveling to ports affordable, so I saw him a few times during his absence from home as well.

In 2007, we headed to Norfolk, Virginia, for shore duty and to begin Operation Procreation.  C was born just nine months after we arrived in VA, and E was born two years and a day later.  Operation Procreation was a huge success!  During our three-year stay in Norfolk, we met some fabulous friends who will remain a part of our lives for a long time.  Just eight short weeks after E was born, we moved again to southern California, which is where we are now. 

We knew this tour was going to be more difficult than the first two because it is/was our first sea duty with kids.  We spent the summer of 2010 hiking and traveling the coast, but by Christmas, I was already starting to stress about K’s upcoming seven-month deployment.  In Naval aviation, there is a season for preparation and training for deployment called “work-ups.”  Work-ups require Daddy to be gone off and on for weeks at a time for about six months prior to deployment, which, as I found out, is: hell.  Especially with a three-year-old boy.  The air wing in Japan didn’t do work-ups, so this whole evolution was new to me. Operation Procreation was set to commence toward the end of work-ups before deployment so that if successful, K would be home for the birth of Dash 3 after cruise.  Work-ups started January 18, 2011.  I took a pregnancy test January 17.  Dash 3 was on the way six months ahead of our schedule.  K would miss practically the whole pregnancy during work-ups, and the birth and first five months of this child’s life during deployment.  Can any one say, basket case?  I was a mess.  I know many mothers have delivered babies without their husbands before me, and many will do so after me, but I never expected to be numbered among their ranks!  “I don’t want to do this without him!” was the phrase on repeat in my mind.  Every time I’d think about him missing the birth, I would burst into tears.

Again, looking back, I was in shock. Really? Our first deployment with kids, and we’re adding another one during it?  Really, Lord?  But after a month or so, I finally came to terms with God’s timing.  I’ve known for a long time that His timing is always perfect.  His ways are higher than mine.  I started counting my blessings.  I am able to have children.  K was there for the first two births.  I am not alone, with so many family members and friends willing to help.  I have a church that will support me.  We were able to move to a bigger house (with a grass yard!) to accommodate our new addition!  I started repeating truth like, “I’ve given birth before, I can do it again,” or “The Lord chose THIS child at THIS time, because THIS child was the one He wanted in our family,” or “I am going to grow and mature in my faith because of this unique and difficult situation,” or “The Lord is with me always.”  Last year, I was in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) where we studied the book of Isaiah.  One week, this verse grabbed me and became my mantra for this whole deployment and birth experience:  I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; 
I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. 
These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.  Isaiah 42:16

What a promise.  One I could definitely relate to and cling to.  I needed this.  And thus my year commenced as a pregnant mama with a preschooler, a toddler and husband beginning work-ups with an imminent deployment.

So there’s part one of my little history lesson… I wish I had started this blog last year so that I could have documented this time in our lives day by day… you know, in all the spare time I had.  In any case, I want to document it and share it now. It’s never too late to share some encouragement.  So glad K spent some time in the kitchen, so that I could write a bit.  Thanks for reading... stay tuned for more.